


Golden One

by Gleaminginthespotlight



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: 3 and 1, Hurt/Comfort, JJ deserves the world, Trigger warning:mentions of panic attacks, trigger warning: mentions of hospitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28291371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gleaminginthespotlight/pseuds/Gleaminginthespotlight
Summary: Since the day she was born her parents had labeled her as the “golden one.” throughout school she heard it said she was “pure gold” and for years of her life these were the things she believed. She believed that these were the areas of life she was supposed to live in. nobody can see you cry if you don't cry at all. Nobody can see your pain if you keep going. So that's what you need to do, you need to keep going. Keep moving, keep your head up and push through that. That golden child image came with a cost, and it was one you were willing to work through."Good job JJ. That's my golden girl.""She really is one of the golden ones isn't she?""If only we were all as gold as she is. The world would be a better place."
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau & Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau & Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia & Jennifer "JJ" Jareau
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Golden One

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin I want to mention there are a few trigger warnings throughout this piece, there are mentions of antidepressants, hospital rooms and panic attacks if any of these things are possible triggers for you in any way please skip. I would rather keep all of you safe. <3 Continuing on this is a three and one type thing, so the three times when someone did something and the one time someone did something for them. Because JJ is my comfort character this is her centric. So enjoy :)

There's something said about people with hair the color of the sun, with freckles that line their cheeks and race down their chin down their arms. There's something said about summer children who smell like sunflowers and joy, and they taste like sweet peach iced tea. There's something said about those who laugh out loud, unphased from the rest of the world. And who dance by themselves, twisting and turning every way they could. Something about someone who makes you want to smile to the sky and see the world from their point of view. Something about people who look like solid gold and make you daydream of constant adventure. Of boat rides on the coast of nowhere and of running through fields strolling along. 

These people, they're everything you want to be, so they go

They make you wonder "could I be one too?" 

And JJ. She was one of those. 

Since the day she was born her parents had labeled her as the “golden one.” throughout school she heard it said she was “pure gold” and for years of her life these were the things she believed. She believed that these were the areas of life she was supposed to live in. nobody can see you cry if you don't cry at all. Nobody can see your pain if you keep going. So that's what you need to do, you need to keep going. Keep moving, keep your head up and push through that. That golden child image came with a cost, and it was one you were willing to work through. 

"Good job JJ. That's my golden girl."

"She really is one of the golden ones isn't she?"

"If only we were all as gold as she is. The world would be a better place."

You have to save everyone. Like Captain America or Wonder Woman. Have to let your cape carry you as you save the day for those who aren't having the best one. And sometimes. You have to remind them that you don't always have to be strong. A lesson that maybe. She should have been taking for herself.

Your anxiety is something that doesn't flare up often. But once it does you forget everything else. The first time tour anxiety hit you closer than anything else, you were at your sister's funeral, the pain hurting so much then you swore to never feel that again. Happened again when you were twelve. And after that a steady pattern. It went on and on, until your mom realized something was up and you were given something in an orange bottle to help you. They listed off the side effects but the only thing you could focus on was the fact you couldn't believe it had gone this far...you stare at the orange bottle, and take those little "miracle capsules" though. Continuing to take them as you grow into an adult. 

But when someone else's anxiety is acting up, you're up and on your feet. Ready to help whoever needs it in that way. Whether it's talking to them until they feel a little calmer or eating lunch with them to make sure they get enough in their system. That's why you like this job. It's in your description that you save people. Sometimes you save your coworkers though, helping them to ignore your own sound of pounding in your head. 

_ Be the person who saves others.  _

_ With no selfish intention in heart. _

_ Help them. Heal them. Hear them.  _

  1. **Emily Prentiss**



She sat in the seat of the hospital. The same one she had been in over and over again. She sat here after Garcia had gotten shot. Trying her best to comfort the pounding in Derek's chest. This time it was ten years later and she was just as much of a nervous wreck as she had been a decade prior. Other members of their team had ended up in this hospital room before. Her included. But it had never been as bad as a hit and run where the person involved lost a total sense of consciousness. The others had gone home while JJ promised to wait and talk to Prentiss once she woke up. 

"Jennifer?" The nurse came out knocking JJ from her thought process. She looked up, the bright eyed nurse commenting after a second "Emily is awake now. She's ready to see a visitor." This caused JJ to nod as she stood up, setting down the 'PEOPLE' magazine she had been reading to help her calm her racing heart. She could wait to finish the story about Madonna's new beach body or Lady Gaga's new multi-million dollar home. Shockingly enough she learned that Beyonce is just like everyone else and takes her kids to the zoo. Mind-blowing. But anyway, her feet hit the edge of the pavement ground as she walked into the room. 4WW. And entered. She had never been a fan of hospital rooms, and as she stood there. Her coat buttons tangling in her blonde hair as she looked over she took an examination of the room. 

The walls were white, everything was so white and perfectly clean. Funny that the place where pain had been helped. Were the cleanest spaces. 

"What happened?" She asked feeling her forehead. Noticing that she had stitches on her head. 

"We were on the way back from a case and your car was hit from behind. Someone caught him right away…" she said as she looked over at the other. "He was upset about a case he thought we had something to do with. And plowed straight into you." She finished up with a small smile.

"Did anyone else get hurt?" She asked as she looked to JJ. Trying to see a clear answer. 

"No, not as bad as you did. The only others in your car were Tara and Reid. Reid walked away with bruising but no significant injuries and Tara has a set of stitches on her chin. But neither of them lost consciousness like you did." She explained. The other car had her, Rossi, Matt and Luke. Those four were back at the office by the time anyone realized the other car was missing. It wasn't until a call from Reid came in that made us all realize what had happened. They ended up catching the guy right away, wasn't smart enough to leave too far from the scene of the crime due to running off by foot. Dude literally couldn't have been an easier catch, but he was with the police department now. So that was out of their hands. "I know you have a lot of questions —." She commented walking over and sitting on the edge of a chair near the bed.

She rolled her eyes lightly and scoffed "I have plenty."

"Let me see how many I can answer." 

"How bad are the injuries."

"20 stitches in your forehead and then twelve more in the left arm. Left arm will be in a cast for a little bit. And they think you have a concussion so they wanted to keep an eye on you for at least two days to watch for that." She said reading off the list of injuries like they were on a clipboard right in front of her. 

"Where is everyone else?"

"They came with, but everyone went home. Tara got picked up by Penelope and I said I could wait here." She commented, offering a small shrug. She watched as Emily looked to the bed. 

"Oh God… I'm feeling sick." She commented as she rested her hand back onto the spot on her forehead. 

"No no. Come on. Prentiss. Eyes on me." She said kneeling on the edge of her bed. "Name five things you can see." She stated and reached for her hand. Squeezing it as she rubbed small circles into it. 

"I can see the blanket over me, I can see the monitors in the room. There's the tray with the medical devices, and I can see the sink...and I can see you." She said as she went back to JJ.

"Good — good." She nodded "four things you can touch." 

Emily went on, listing off her own list. It continued three items you can hear , two you can smell and one you could taste. This was something she remembered doing with her mom when she was younger. And something she was doing now with Prentiss. "Emily. I don't think you can taste air. That seems like cheating." She said with a small laugh. 

This wouldn't be an easy few days for Prentiss. But she had a feeling the brunette would be just fine. "You really are the BAUs own golden girl aren't you?" She would ask JJ. Receiving a sad nod and a "yeah,,, I guess I am." From the other. 

  
  


  1. **Penelope Garcia**



There was often a case that struck close to home. Whether it was an abduction, a killing, a torture or whatever else. Somehow it worked, linking together ties to bring someone from the BAU down to their knees. Often other times though. It's not what happens during the case, it's what happens after. This certain moment she woke up to a call at 12:30 in the morning. Picking her phone up as she lifted it to her ears.

"Hello?" She asked. Not really sure what to expect. They had to constantly be on the look-out for a call about a case. Had to listen carefully incase they were needed immediately. 

"Hi, it's Penelope."

"I could tell from caller ID… What's wrong do we have a case?" She asked as she sat up in the bed. Her husband still laying still next to her. 

"No, it's not that. I um — just got back from a date."

"Oh with that accountant…? How did it go?"

"Really really bad— that's why I'm calling." She admitted and JJ could hear the silence in the other room on the phone. "I didn't know who else to call, so I thought you might have picked up. I was hopeful you would. This wasn't exactly the call she wanted to hear. But in her mind it was better than a case. And she had an idea of how to help. 

"I'll be over in twenty minutes. Question first though. Cookies and cream or mint chip?" She asked and got her response. 

Twenty or so minutes later she was on Penelope's front door step, offering a small smile as she held up two cartons of ice cream and two spoons. "Can I come in?" She asked , still in her pajamas and a pair of slippers from home. Garcia stood in her pajamas and a robe as she answered the door. "So start from the start." She instructed once she was inside.

"Well you know how this was set up by my neighbor?" She asked as she looked over at him. "The guy kept interrupting what I had to say. And whenever he did I would lose track of what I had to say. Turns out he immediately wanted a committed relationship which is — not something I want right now. Especially when I don't know the guy." JJ nodded along to what her friend had to say. 

She had plenty of thoughts at this moment. But most of these weren't exactly ones she thought would be appreciated. She thought her friend was just tired of constantly being set up with guy after guy. "So you want to go out with someone you know…? Just so it would skip over the whole awkward thing…?" She asked trying to read the room for sure. 

"Exactly !! I want to get a feeling for it all before I go in and see if I want to see how something continues. But at this rate. I don't think it'll happen. I think I'm just going to end up alone with nineteen cats." She rambled on, her hands getting fidgety as she stood up to pace. "And then I'll be known as the crazy cat lady as people keep growing and growing apart. And who wants a relationship with—."

"Penelope ! Breathe. Look at me. Focus on me" she said as she stood up, holding her friends hand as she pulled her to sit down next to where she was sitting on the couch. "Here's what we're going to do. We're not going to focus on that. We're going to focus on now. Plus any guy would be lucky to have you. I can name a handful who would be lucky to know and have you." She said, truly she did. She knew people who had just gotten out of relationships who were now just getting back to dating. Penelope knew a few herself. She just didn't know that for sure they'd have interest — they did. "You are pretty, you're funny, you're intelligent. Anybody would be lucky to have you. You are NOT going to end up alone with 19 cats." She said as she reached up to place a hand on her the person who she considered her best friend's face. 

"But what if—"

"No buts. No what ifs… focus on me. Look at me." She said again. "Inhale five seconds , exhale seven." She said rubbing circles in her friends hand. "One...two...three...four….five." she said and nodded "good." Before counting again "one… two...three...four...five...six...seven." she said as she watched her exhale. "Better" she asked. Resulting in a nod from her friend. And a little breath of relief

"Much better."

"Good...good." she said and let go of her hand. "Let's eat before it melts and I'll tell you my favorite things about you." She said with a wink. 

"That sounds like a plan." She nodded. 

  
  


  1. **Aaron Hotchner**



There's something to be said about helping someone in their most vulnerable moments. You learn something about them, a little truth, a piece of information that sticks to you as you carry on through life. You catalog it into the back of your head, as you learn more and more about them. Finding it more and more fascinating. It's also a scary thing to learn. Because you know if you set them off when it comes to that thing — all hell could break loose and you aren't sure you're ready for that responsibility. "I'll get him. Be right back." She told Penelope as she walked from her station. Over to Hotch's office. He sat at his desk going over file after file. She wondered what kind of thing could be going on. Did someone turn in a notice? Were they getting a new team member? She allowed those wheels to turn in her head for a few minutes. 

It took her a moment to realize she was staring slightly. Took her until his calm voice spoke out "May I help you?" That she realized she had in fact...been staring. She quickly regained her balance, saying. 

"Hey! Yeah um — , Garcia wanted me to come and get you. She has a question on a case." The blonde spoke, looking in the direction of her boss. "Hotch? Are you okay?" She asked as she looked at him. Trying her best to not show too much concern. She knew about the other man and his strange habits. Often times he acted as if he were made out of marble or stone. Something that showed him as being cold and emotionless. Two words she wouldn't use to describe him. Sure, often times he could leave her feeling uneasy when he would do some tactics. But it was never in a way that she felt uncomfortable. Or like she didn't want to work with him as a boss or leader of the team. He was a great guy and deserved her respect. Even if he was acting funny that day. 

"I'm just fine Jareau." He spoke using her last name only as a way to address her. She nodded, biting down on her bottom lip. Trying to figure out how to address the situation. 

"If you need me, I'm here for you. I've been told I'm a pretty damn good listener. I have rave five star reviews from Morgan and Garcia." She said with a small smile on her face. She didn't want to push the topic. But she did want him to know he was okay. Even if he didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering him. She knew something was though, whether it was his family. Or a problem with someone at the BAU. 

After a second or so, Hotch finally responded. Looking over at her, taking a deep sigh before he spoke. "We have a check in, in a few days. Someone is coming by to do a walk-through and I assume I'm just a little on edge because of that." She nodded, listening to it. This wasn't something that needed to be judged. And truthfully JJ never saw herself as being a judgemental person. When you see case after case of these events happening. You learn not to judge too deeply. Everyone's going through a different story. And just because something might not mean something to you. To someone else, it could mean the entire universe. 

"I can see how that's — stressful." She offered. Leaning against the wall as she spoke. "Good news about those, is one day and then it's done. Plus, I'm pretty sure you're going to do just fine." She said as she looked around his office. There was a quote that said you could tell a lot about someone based on the things they keep on her desk. And looking at those things you can tell how to comfort them or make their stress go down. "I see that fishing photo. Want to tell me about how you caught it?" She asked listening to the story, adding in her own comments of 'oh that's fascinating.' she used to do this with her cousins. Whenever they'd get stressed she'd ask them about their interests. And truthfully if that didn't work she'd move onto the next thing. 

"If all else fails and you need extra support during the walk through it's okay. Just look over at me and eyes on me." She stated. "I'll walk you through breathing exercises from my desk and anything else you need." She shrugged. 

"I should really get out there to assist Garcia...." He announced as he looked from his desk, back up at her , standing up. He seemed significantly more ready and less stressed. "Thanks Jar — JJ. I really appreciated your help." He commented and watched as she moved off of the wall. Offering a nod as she walked out of his office and over to Prentiss who was telling a story about her childhood to the remainder of the team who stood there. She didn't look for praise. It was something she guessed came with doing the right thing time after time. She watched as he walked into Garcia's office. Keeping her eyes on him. Moments like these happened throughout the year, up until his departure. Oftentimes there were days, she wished she could have been there a little more near the end of his career with them. 

_ While sometimes you save your coworkers _

_ Sometimes. They save you.  _

_ They wrap their arms around you and _

_ Don't let go, until the feeling of peace hits you _

_ like a speeding bus.  _

  
  


**+1. Spencer Reid.**

Even though it was a local case, the entire thing had taken them four days. This case had felt particularly rough, the unsub would kidnap children and demand either an unsafe task from the parents, or they’d hurt them on camera. This was truly every parent's worst fear. And it dug deep into her. The group would talk for a little bit, and shed hear Emily laugh at something Rossi would say, and Matt made some comment resulting in a pencil cap eraser being thrown at him from Tara. And like that, everyone was gone. Every single member of the victim's families were home, and now she was done. She was all alone. And that was okay, when you're in a local case sometimes you need the reassurance that you aren't too far from home. Often times you need the comfort of going home at the end of the day and being able to look in the mirror and proudly say “We did it. Look at us.” but this time things felt different. Things felt a little heavier. 

“Jennifer Jareau you know this better than anyone. We don't cry…” she said to herself as she looked in the small hand held mirror that sat at her desk. “We’ve been doing so good today, don't start now. Don't you dare -.” and she stopped, her breath hitching as she stood up. Grasping the edge of the table to regain a sense of balance. She would walk it off, go get a drink of water, and go home. She’d see her kids, and her husband and ultimately, she’d feel better, that was always how this worked. She didn't cry. Didn't need to cry. As she stood up though, she found herself losing her balance as she slid her way to the ground. Everyone was gone, Rossi went home to his wife, Emily to her boyfriend, Matt to his wife. Penelope went home to Sergio, Luke offering her a ride home since her car was still in the shop. And like that she sat alone. Which was okay, sometimes it's better off if you're alone. She kept telling herself this. “JJ, get up. We’ve done this before. We can do it again.” she continued to tell herself, as if it was a way to comfort herself. As if it was a way to distract from the world that felt it was crumbling around her. “We just have to get water, then we’ll be fine … we’ll be okay. We always have been.” she didn't know why those were the words that completely set her off. The words that pushed her to that edge of breaking. “Come on just get up, get up...up.” she finished. Shakily standing as tears ran down her cheeks and those light tears turned into full body sobs. 

“JJ.” she heard the voice say as it got closer and closer to her, “hey, it's okay. It's me… spencer.” he said and kept her head buried into her own lap. He didn't need to see those tears, didn't need to see what was happening.. If anyone saw this, she wouldn't be able to call herself the thing she always called herself. “I’m not going to touch you, but know that if you need anything, I'm here.” he spoke, trying his best to bring comfort to his friend. That particular case had been hard, it had been something nobody had seen coming. Yet it happened. “JJ, focus on my heartbeat okay…? Focus on that.” he stated, and JJ looked up. Looking at her friend, “focus on me. Can you do that?” he asked, seeing her nod. The sobs reduced back to tears, not falling quietly, but falling at a softer pace. “Do you need anything?” he asked, handing her a bottle of water from the desk. She shook her head as she looked at him, speaking with her voice hoarse. 

“Sorry you had to see that, I have no idea what happened.” she admitted as she put a piece of hair behind her head before taking a drink.

“You don't have to apologize for feeling feelings. Anxiety attacks are completely normal.” he told her. Watching her for a second, to see if she would do anything. He knew she wouldn't, he still wanted to be careful though. “I have them, they started when I was in my early teens.” he admitted, not looking for a time frame from the other, just wanting to let her know she wasn't alone. “You don't have to tell me about yours, just wanted you to know you weren’t alone.” he offered and she nodded lightly.

Hers had started when she was in her first year of middle school, a few of the cooler kids in her grade were attending a large party where it was rumored if you showed up, you would be instantly cooler. A young Jen wanted that, she couldn't explain why. She ended up crying in the bathroom, unable to breathe for what felt like ten years, but truthfully was only about ten minutes. She ended up walking home, entering through the doors. Her mom questioned her about it, and she commented it was just a stomach ache. Something that though was honest, wasn't the whole truth. She was careful with the parties and whatever else she went to for then on. After that they seemed to sneak up to her without a reason. She thought being in the BAU would make it so she wouldn't have to worry about it. Instead having someone else to worry about. That wasn't the case though. She now had much more to worry about. And it all felt very real. It felt like it was a personal thing now, and it wasn't something she would ever admit to wanting to happen to her again and again. She couldn't wish this to happen for anyone. Made her head spin even if she thought about it. 

She wondered what else was going on in the mind of Spencer Reid. if she wasn't so — exhausted. She would have asked. But right now it didn't seem like something she should have done. Right now. He felt like home to her. He didn't expect her to need a savior, and she didn't expect him to be one. 

"Thank you Spencer…" she told him, her voice being honest & sincere. 

"Anytime."

Maybe she didn't need to be the Golden Girl for everyone. Maybe she didn't need to shine 24/7. The sun lets the moon shine for the world to see. And as would she. 

**Author's Note:**

> A reminder you can find me on tumblr at @gleaminginthespotlight I'd love to be friends and all that good stuff over there :) I love you.


End file.
